I ring the pro shop at Bartram Trail Golf Club. I speak to Josh and explain that I want to hit off in the a.m. and play with others if I can. He says he has a group that goes off at 9;30 every week, “but those guys like to play on their own”. “Leave it with me” he says. He rings me back and says they are happy to have me. So I rock up the next morning and meet Josh and one of my playing partners Dennis. Dennis and I go out to the driving range. Him “Scottish” Me “No, Australian”. If they don’t guess Australian inevitably they guess Scottish. I’m sure Sean Connery, Danny Bhoy and Bill Connelly wouldn’t be happy.
I hit maybe 1 decent shot out of 4 on the driving range. I’m dropkicking balls, scrubbing and blading them. Dennis tells me had an 85 last week. Everybody around me is blasting them down the middle. Oh dear!
The rest of the troupe turn up. Josh comes out on the veranda to question one the group’s, Rex, sexuality. More on Rex later. There will be six of us – 2 groups of three. The other gent I’m going to play with is Andy. We go over to the practice green. I struggle to get the ball to the cup and then it will roll on and on and off the green. I played Metropolitan once and it wasn’t this quick.
Anyway away we go and I’m hitting them ok. The course greens aren’t nearly as quick as the practice green. Andy is only one over with a few to go (I think he ends up with about a 77, Dennis ends up with a 89 and me a 93. Happy with that. Hit some good ones. Dennis and Andy were great playing partners. Greatly encouraging, friendly and patiently explained each hole’s idiosyncrasies. It makes me appreciate what a bunch of arseholes I play with in Melbourne.
We have a beer back in the pro shop. Rex is a very funny fellow. He explains that everybody in Australia lives around the coast and come night time no one will go into the middle, because it is too dark. Police beg off saying they will be willing to go in the morning light when it is less scary. Handshakes all round and I’m off.
A terrific start and terrific blokes.
Da Georgia Boys
Rex (in blue) thinks the photo of Dennis (in front) will start an avalanche of Australian women into Georgia.
• Repositioning day
• I’m trying to help you sir
• Pensacola
50 States of golf 