North to Alaska go north the rush is on

A sports bar in Honolulu and the Pies and the Bluebaggers are on half of the televisions. Our American cousins are completely bemused by this spectacle. Ed sitting next to me asks “What the hell is this? Is it rugby?” I explain it is Australian Football and these our two most universally loved and respected sides. Matt on the other side of me can’t stop chuckling “They didn’t think through those uniforms” “What do you mean?” “They are all dressed like referees it is just stoopid”. I explain that our umpires wear……well……..lots of different things. “Oh…….do they have those sticks at both ends?”

I fly to Anchorage on Alaskan Airlines. I ask the steward for a scotch. “Where in Australia are you from?” “Melbourne” “Oh I love Melbourne. I worked in Trafalgar East on a visa for 6 months” “How was that?” “Fantastic, I would still be there if my visa didn’t run out.” Now Alaskan flies between Hawaii, Alaska and Seattle. I would have thought it had the Latrobe Valley covered. But apparently I underestimate the charm of being in close driving distance of Morwell, Moe and the Pig’s head gang. Anyway, the steward doesn’t charge for the scotch. “Thanks for that.” “No worries.” “Still got some Australianisms happening.” “My mum says when I have a few drinks I start sounding like an Aussie again”.

I play golf in Anchorage with Sue, Dave and Presco. I drive it well but everything else is just OK. I make 14 bogeys. Talking to Dave about bears he reckons black bears are the real aggressive ones and you have really have to fight them to have a hope. His theory with Grizzlies is that you just play dead and they’ll just gnaw on you awhile. On the news last night was a story from Yellowstone that a Park employee had been half consumed by a Grizzly. Who knows whether he played dead or not. Well he is not playing now. There are as many theories on bears as there are bears. Be submissive. Be aggressive. Look them in the eyes. Look down. Play dead. Try to make yourself look as big as possible. The one thing they all agree on is don’t run. The one thing you would have an overwhelming desire to do. If you run they think you’re prey. This is not good. Bears are faster than horses. So if you are going to run you need to have someone with you can outrun or trip up. On the ninth? a golfer coming up the opposite fairway comes over to tell us that to be aware that there is a black bear and her two cubs over the hill. Sue says I should go take a look. Inside voice “Fuck off! They kill you”. Actual voice “Ohhh I don’t think so”.

Dave, Sue and Presco. Just good fun.

 

So that is Alaska done. Look, I know this is only a bullshit travel/golf blog and why should you take any notice of me. But this place is incredible. It is the antithesis of the wide brown land. The snow capped mountains, glaciers and lakes are awesome in the true sense of the world. I had 4 full days here. You need a month.

• The lower 48
• Just like home but not in a good way
• My Leonardo moment