That night I drink with two fellows (John and Tony maybe, maybe not) in a bar in downstate Vermont. John is originally from Ohio (maybe) and I ask what I can see and do that maybe of some interest in the Midwest. John, “Ummmm………. Ummmmmmm………”. Me “Oh come on! An area with a population of 65 million people, twelve states and that is roughly the size of Queensland has nothing of interest?”. He, like me, has no idea what Queensland is. After a period of contemplation, John says “Do you like big things?” Me “You don’t mean like in Michael”. “Yup”. For those that haven’t seen it, Michael is a John Travolta vehicle, where he is an angel on a road trip who likes to seek out big things, like the world’s biggest frypan and the world’s biggest ball of twine. Coming from the home of the Big Ned Kelly (Glenrowan) and the Giant Worm (Korumburra) I naturally thought these big things would be somewhat tame in comparison. So after a time John slinks away only to reappear some 15 minutes later “The rock and roll hall of fame in Cleveland” he proclaims. Me “that is it for the Midwest?” “Fraid so”.
So it is a lot of driving to get to Ohio that I break up by going to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. I get the skinny (skinny!- how hip American speak is that, it is just a pity that it is not 1932) on what touristy things to do from Ken and Abbey in a bar in Gettysburg. This is obviously an area and battle and subsequent speech by Abe that is of great import to Americans. As an outsider you appreciate that this was a momentous event, but also are shocked about how much you know about a war that has no relevance to us. I think it is partly because the history of the U.S is so much more colourful than ours (as in the Chinese curse “May you live in interesting times”) and partly because they are better at mythologising and promoting their past. Anyway I’m in. So first, the museum, that is good. Then the bus tour, that is great.
Little round top, the site of a crucial battle on day 2 of the three day battle. It was originally left unguarded, but realising their mistake, the Yankees rushed to defend. If only Essendon’s half back line would do this.
They show us the site of Pickett’s charge.
Pickett’s charge was conducted by 12,500 confederates over approximately 1 km at Cemetery Ridge on July 3 1863. This is flat land with no cover and they got the shit kicked out of them with a 50% casualty rate. I walked it after the tour. The guide had told us that the weather conditions were similar as it was on the day i.e. hot and humid. It wasn’t unbearable. But I wasn’t under enemy fire from an elevated position, I certainly wasn’t malnourished (yeah, ok) and I wasn’t carrying a full pack. It seems that it was incredibly foolhardy. Years after, General Pickett was asked why the charge failed, he replied: “I’ve always thought the Yankees had something to do with it”.
• Corn
• Corn
• Some more corn
• Guess what! More fuck’n corn
50 States of golf 